Archives for category: White Elephant

(My apologies in advance for not doing my homework and watching the first Universal Soldier film, which would have given me a better understanding of exactly what The Return is, other than a desire to quickly put the DVD back in the red envelope and in a mailbox.)

The primary theme of Universal Soldier – The Return (1999) is one that has been neglected for far too long in Hollywood: Can zombies reproduce and become productive members of society?

Based on flashbacks in the The Return and information gleaned elsewhere, the U.S. Army, in conjunction with a private company called Ryan-Lathrop, took some frozen dead soldiers from the Vietnam War and reconstituted them into Universal Soldiers (their slogan is UniSols 2500: Dying to Serve), who are stronger and whose only requirement for R&R is time in a walk-in freezer. For The Return, they improved somewhat on the (beta) zombie soldiers with new 2.0 releases, but still encountered a few bugs to work out.

Our hero Luc, played by Jean-Claude Van Damme, is himself one of the original beta versions of the UniSol. And he has an eleven-year-old daughter. So, yes, zombies, apparently, can reproduce with humans. Which is gross and should be outlawed. But, wait, there are more questions that need to be answered.
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Killers From SpaceIt’s an unfortunate act to spend time and money making a bad movie. What does it mean, then, to make a bad movie out of an existing bad movie? Does anyone have time for that, given the amount of movies released each year?

Refried Flicks thinks so and has found a niche reviving bad movies (one so far) through the addition of new dialogue. They took a B movie from the public domain (an expired copyright speaks to how bad it was), recorded new dialogue and added a few scenes, and released it as their own. In this case, Killers From Space (1954) was reborn as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (2002).
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